This is the part of the site where members of the kru can have their say. Basically each month one member of the Kru takes over this page, putting whatever they want on here. If you want to appear here e-mail me. Previous Rants (the legal bit) Just remember all views on this page are those of the contributer and don't neccesarilly reflect those of the Beanokru or its members. |
This is the part of the site where members of the kru can have their say. Basically each month one member of the Kru takes over this page, putting whatever they want on here. If you want to appear here e-mail me. Previous Rants (the legal bit) Just remember all views on this page are those of the contributer and don't neccesarilly reflect those of the Beanokru or its members. |
January 2002 |
This month - Beano (again) Let's face it, it's a pretty depressing time of the year. Christmas is over, it's bloody freezing and never seems to get light and we have exams. However just to cap my misery, I have an ulcer, which means in a few days I will have several ulcers. I mean what is it with these things, you have none for months and then three come along at once - you get one and they breed like rabbits , until it becomes difficult to speak and you have to fast because you can't eat. But hey, everyone can starve for a few days.....no the most annoying part of having ulcers , is the pain you inflict on yourself. What is it with the human brain and ulcers in the mouth? Do they make you go mad? Because every five minutes you feel the need to put your tongue on the ulcer, resulting, rather predictably in a great amount of discomfort. Generally humans try to avoid pain, but not when ulcers are the source, we apparently can't get enough of it. There are of course people who like pain. I can't help thinking the people who make up the following statistics fall into the category. Did you know that in the USA 400,000 are injured every year by beds,pillows and mattresses. That is no small figure, in fact it is slightly higher than the population of Bristol. I would just like to point at this stage, the following injuries were also significant enough to merit a trip to casualty. Did you know a relatively modest 16,670 were injured by axes, yet almost double this number suffered an accident involving grooming devices, basically combs and a similar number suffered after incidents with coins and paper money. Now perhaps it is possible to swallow a coin and end up choking in casualty, but to injure yourself with a fiver, severely enough to make the trip to hospital is inconceivable. Not that I am angered by these people and the time and money it takes to treat them. No, if I was to meet one of these unfortunate souls I would have plenty of time for them and their stories of how they injured themselves because of clashes with walls and ceilings (263,000 in the USA) or how they managed to injure themselves with desk accessories (50,000 in the USA). Desk accessories if you are interested are pencils, pens and the like. As I look at my desk I find it difficult how I could feasibly injure myself, I mean even in a fit of rage I would be unlikely to stab myself repeatedly with a pair of scissors, the most dangerous object on my desk. So how 50,000 people could be injured in this manner is quite amazing. But don't just think it is those big, fat, dumb yanks who who are injured by the most mundane items. Us Brits are quickly catching up. Figures from 2000 showed 800 people a year are injured by accidents involving sponges and loofahs. It does however get funnier, 6,000 were hurt after tripping over their trousers or falling down stairs whilst putting them on. Now I realise in the morning people might be in a rush to get dressed, but attempting to dress yourself around stairs seems pure stupidity, until of course you look at the figures from socks and tights. In 2000 in the UK 10,773 were hurt in accidents involving these items of clothing. This is something you do everyday, I estimate in my lifetime alone I have put on and taken of my socks at least 15,000 times, presumably these people have had similar experience, so why should they find it so difficult on this occasion. Oh well I suppose it's one way of livening up an otherwise dull day and when you do go back to the office it is a story to tell, all be if it is humilating. Do think it's just getting dressed these days which is a risky business. Fancy a corned beef butty and a glass of Ribena? Don't even think about it! Last year 41 people were hospitalised after a run in with a corned beef tin and 1,300 by plastic bottles. An interesting fact is 350 more people were injured by plastic bottles, than glass bottles, amazing! Anyway here are some other amusing injury facts:- 1,810 people injured walking into tree trunks or cutting their hands on them. 1,171 accidents involving leaves 3,421 injuries involving clothes baskets And perhaps my favourite 311 injuries involving bird baths. Please remember all these injuries involved a visit to the casualty department, a fact which makes them both more amazing, but also scary. Which leads me on to my next point nicely, well actually it doesn't, but anyway........ I recently received my first 'letter' from a credit card company, now I won't name the company but they weren't Mastercard, Visa or Switch; the first word of their name is a native of a country which has the initials USA and the second word is something which trains in this country rarely are. Anyway to cut a long rant short I can't help feeling as I turn 18, I will receive increasing amounts of this sort of junk mail, which preys on the poor and stupid. I mean I have no regular income, yet they are offering me a credit card, so I can run up huge debts and they can charge me an extortionate rate of interest. No doubt this will become a point to rant about in the future. However all that's now left for me to say now is have a very happy 2002. |
