An apology from Beano: I would like to apologise for the following feature, it is possibly the worst to ever appear on this website and for a site that brought you Gimp of the month and the Swear word game this really is saying something, the words scraping and barrel spring to mind. Welcome to the 'hilarious new quiz from the Beano Kru Website. The idea: In celebration of Bonfire night or as it is sometimes known Guy Fawkes night, the Beano Kru Website brings you Guy's Fork. Basically you answer a simple question and one lucky person wins a fantastic prize. The Prize: I nick a fork from a bloke called Guy and give it to the winner of the competition. The reality: As I'm sure you'll agree this is a very good idea, however it does have one flaw - I don't know anybody called Guy. But don't panic I do know a fork* some men, who are sometimes colloquially referred to as guys (still a fork* following). All you have to do is answer the simple question below and fill in your details and the fork could be yours. *not actual fork The question: What date is Guy Fawkes night? a) 5th November b) 25th December c) 31st February Competition now closed. The winner was Tofty. Other Competitions Here are some of the comments that appeared about this competition From: The Ox Comment: Beano you have lost the plot From: Tofty Comment: Who's the man! All you people with more important things to do than enter look pretty dam stupid now! The fork will most probably be donated to a charity of my choice which will be the 'the friends of waveney terrace, block l, floor 1 kitchen'. or TFOWTB1F1K for short. I'd like to thank the beanokru website for its support and rick for being an almost as regular poster on here as me! But Mad Rick was not happy after Beano claimed he had only one entry. From: Goddamit beano I entered ages ago, I smell a rat! I woz robbed I tell you, robbed But Beano had a good alibi, a message posted days before Guy's Fork IP: 128.240.229.5 Posted on 6/11/2002 at 10:32:29 AM by Beano Just to compound the poorness of this feature, it appears the submit button hasn't been working properly so anyone who entered hasn't been entered (if you know what I mean). Therefore anyone who does want to enter will have to re-enter their details. Sorry! This is a message posted a while ago, explaining why you probably weren't entered. Everything was fair and even if it wasn't I don't give a fuck! So there! Anyway, more questions were being asked as to the whereabouts of other Old Beano Kru members. |
Review of November/December 2002 |
The Chrsitmas months but first bonfire night and |
An apology from Beano: I would like to apologise for the following feature, it is possibly the worst to ever appear on this website and for a site that brought you Gimp of the month and the Swear word game this really is saying something, the words scraping and barrel spring to mind. Welcome to the 'hilarious new quiz from the Beano Kru Website. The idea: In celebration of Bonfire night or as it is sometimes known Guy Fawkes night, the Beano Kru Website brings you Guy's Fork. Basically you answer a simple question and one lucky person wins a fantastic prize. The Prize: I nick a fork from a bloke called Guy and give it to the winner of the competition. The reality: As I'm sure you'll agree this is a very good idea, however it does have one flaw - I don't know anybody called Guy. But don't panic I do know a fork* some men, who are sometimes colloquially referred to as guys (still a fork* following). All you have to do is answer the simple question below and fill in your details and the fork could be yours. *not actual fork The question: What date is Guy Fawkes night? a) 5th November b) 25th December c) 31st February Competition now closed. The winner was Tofty. Other Competitions Here are some of the comments that appeared about this competition From: The Ox Comment: Beano you have lost the plot From: Tofty Comment: Who's the man! All you people with more important things to do than enter look pretty dam stupid now! The fork will most probably be donated to a charity of my choice which will be the 'the friends of waveney terrace, block l, floor 1 kitchen'. or TFOWTB1F1K for short. I'd like to thank the beanokru website for its support and rick for being an almost as regular poster on here as me! But Mad Rick was not happy after Beano claimed he had only one entry. From: Goddamit beano I entered ages ago, I smell a rat! I woz robbed I tell you, robbed But Beano had a good alibi, a message posted days before Guy's Fork IP: 128.240.229.5 Posted on 6/11/2002 at 10:32:29 AM by Beano Just to compound the poorness of this feature, it appears the submit button hasn't been working properly so anyone who entered hasn't been entered (if you know what I mean). Therefore anyone who does want to enter will have to re-enter their details. Sorry! This is a message posted a while ago, explaining why you probably weren't entered. Everything was fair and even if it wasn't I don't give a fuck! So there! Anyway, more questions were being asked as to the whereabouts of other Old Beano Kru members. |
Daniel Brown (aka Brown, Barrel) - Another key member of the gang, he is rarely seen without his sidekick Doddy (see right). It is also believed he once had a sexual relationship with a member of the Beano Kru....Oh fuck it, it was Eyes, now sue me for slander asswipe. Last reported sighting How he may appear now |
This message once appeared in the Beano Kru guestbook. Rob you are such a self-centred piece of shit. This after the aforementioned piece of shit had branded new members of the kru "pay as you go". Since this incident very little has been heard of Rob or his cronies, which brought Sunny to question on the message board where are they? So with the help of the Beano Kru crime department we have used hi-tech computers to age these escaped lunatics, giving you some idea of how they may now look. Oh by the way all these faces are wanted dead! |
Paul Roberts (aka Bob) - The leader of this elusive gang is known to have had had a nose job already, experts believe he could have now gone a lot further. Before nose job last reported sighting how he could appear now |
Kris Dodd (aka Doddy) - Brown's sidekick. Don't mess with this dude, he's a complete psychopath. Last sighting How he could look |
Aaron Davis (aka Santa Claus) - Little known about this character, although often seen in the month of December. No recent pictures although artists impression appears left. |
The Pay as you go Kru - Wanted Dead |
Other stuff also appeared on the message board Brooky and his nookie and his cookie and his wookie and his rubber ducky IP: 129.234.4.1 Posted on 12/11/2002 at 07:44:36 PM by the ox Looks like toft was right after all, it has been officially confirmed that brooky and sophie are now a couple. Obviously she was waiting until she could bring her bondage gear from home. Posted on 13/11/2002 at 04:25:55 PM by Tofty WeyHey! Brooky actually now is gimp of the month!! I support brooky though and hope things go well for him and sofie! Posted on 14/11/2002 at 04:12:24 PM by Sunny No disrepect to sophie, but is she that girl who always looks mardy and fustrated? and went out with that gimp 4 ages? just curious... Posted on 14/11/2002 at 05:48:45 PM by the ox Yes, that's the one. Posted on 16/11/2002 at 07:22:41 PM by Sunny Ouch! Wudnt want to wake up next to her in a mornin Posted on 17/11/2002 at 09:59:08 PM by the ox I hope brooky never reads this page, if you are now brook-- a haaa you noppodorn noppachorn A question was posed by Beano It's that time of the year again....Yes, November, so obviously time for the christmas lights to be turned on. I have been informed Ant and Dec are performing the hounours in Newcastle and just wondered which other z-list celebrities are using their button pressing talents in other parts of the country. Admittedly this is another quite poor feature on the website, but there will be some better stuff coming soon...maybe. Posted on 21/11/2002 at 10:46:07 AM by Phil Bob the Builder for us in Hull, oh yeah and Cottinghams lights (all ten of them) or being turned on by the yocal wetherman Posted on 21/11/2002 at 11:54:41 AM by Tofty I have no idea who is doin norwich but i guess it will be either trisha or alan partridge who are norwich's two main claims to fame! did naybody see norwich station on alan partridge on monday? that station is near to where i live (well in the same city). Posted on 21/11/2002 at 12:18:08 AM by Sarah Here in Oxford we've got Tony Blackburn! Posted on 21/11/2002 at 05:33:12 PM by Tofty I've just found out we've got percy weasly from harry potter! back of the net! Posted on 21/11/2002 at 09:01:30 PM by Phil whoops missed my name out there, wtf!! norwich is a big city and percy weasly!! don't even know what the actor looks like Posted on 22/11/2002 at 10:43:30 AM by Beano Wow I didn't expect this to be such a sensationally popular thread. Anyway senn as were names dropping, these are the people I've seen or mates have seen since being here: Niall Quinn (spotted by me) Johnny from Big Brother Alan Shearer in one of the clubs the other night, surrounded by heavies One of the blokes from the Fast Show Also I'm informed two of the people from Pop Idol/Stars (?) live close to my halls and Byker is just down the road. Although there is no Byker Grove and it was filmed somewhere else (not as rough) Posted on 22/11/2002 at 07:06:43 PM by Sunny Well in good old nottingham we have Darius 'can u feel the love in this room' Danesh! Yes the bloke frm popstars who did that poxy 'Hit me baby one more time' in a squeaky voice! I'd love to hit him, and wudnt only do it the once either!!! Posted on 22/11/2002 at 07:18:39 PM by the ox Celebrities seen in Durham so far, the Sunderland squad in the pub, surprise surprise, David Bellamy, Johnny from b.b., I also thought I saw Claudio Ranieri at the Darlington game although I may have been mistaken. Posted on 25/11/2002 at 12:47:22 AM by Tofty The guy who plays percy weasly apparently works in the uci cinema in norwich part time but i've never seen him. It shows what a big star he is if he needs a part-time job! I don't give a shit personnally. Posted on 26/11/2002 at 00:54:27 AM by Phil Even tom cruise has a part time job, being a lookalike for me There was also news of a revolution in toileting technology Posted on 27/11/2002 at 01:03:46 PM by Beano I feel it is very important to write about this as it could revolutionise the way men go to the toilet. Newcastle union have recently installed a computer games machine in the urinals, sounds pretty disgusting I hear you cry. It is not, instead of contolling the game with your hands and a joypad, you use your piss. A sensory pad has been attached to the urinals and you piss in the direction you want to go, there is a screen above like Walkabout, which shows waht you are doing. So far there is racing game, a football, a quiz and something which I can't remember. Apparently this is the first in the world, but I wouldn't be surprised to see this spreading quickly and gaining world domination within the next year. Posted on 27/11/2002 at 07:49:35 PM by Phil So pissing on the seat is a major problem in them toilets Posted on 28/11/2002 at 05:07:45 PM by Beano Erm...no...it's on a urinal so you would have to miss by some distance to piss on the seat. Posted on 28/11/2002 at 03:43:29 PM by Emo thats so cool Posted on 28/11/2002 at 10:00:08 PM by the ox Sweeeeet! Jakanakanory! Posted on 29/11/2002 at 02:33:51 PM by Tofty I'm with emo that sounds so cool! The problem is you've gotta piss like a horse to complete the first level! And more news I got ID'd today Posted by Beano And it wasn't for getting into a pub or club. No it was in Wilko's. Went into there today to buy superglue for my tap in my room, which disintegrated yesterday. I came out with: 1) Superglue 2) Blue hairspray for lad I know who looks like Millhouse from Simpsons, all he needs no is blue hair. 3) Paracetamols (had banging headache, surprisingly not from a hangover) I realised in the queue I had enough substances to kill an army, let alone commit suicide, so it wasn't really surprised when the shop assistant hesitated then asked for ID. Another crap competition |
Judging from recent posts on the message board Alan Partridge is popular, crappy competitions are also popular, so here is the match made in hell: a competetion with an Alan Partridge theme. What does Alan like best in the world - apart from Lexi (plural for Lexus), Directors Bitter and shagging his East European bird - Yes that's right Lynx deodrant. Now here's the clever bit, all you have to do is work out which flavour of Lynx I am talking about in the definitions and then fill in the corresponding answer box (as a help I have given you the first and last letter of the answers and the stars (*) represent the remaining letters.) For example if I said state capital of Arizona (P*****X) the correct answer would be Phoenix. Clear as mud. Anyway, I hear you cry "what do I win?" Well the obvious thing would be a tin of Lynx, however this would be too expensive and even less funny than the real prize. So continuing the Alan Partridge/Norwich theme the eventual winner will receive some Colmans mustard, mmm delicious! (Please note: Colman's Mustard is not recommended as a substitute for deodrant. It could cause skin irritation, a bad smell and will not impress women......Just like Lynx then.) The Clues 1) Continent south of Europe 2) Religious witchcraft 3) Force, keeps us from floating into space 4) Underwater city 5) Part of Indonesia Answers 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) |
