Fake ID's Classic Moments
In the run up to Fake ID's 18th birthday a list was circulating in the common room of classic moments from the man himself. Months have past since then, however a few days ago this list fell into the grubby hands of the Beanokru (the source shall remain nameless, Gibbo, shit I wasn't supposed to mention that, oh well). Well we had two choices screw it up and chuck it in the bin or put it on the website. As you may have guessed already, the second option won, so here's the list in its full entirety.
Classic Quotes
"Is that a cat or a dog?"
"I'm not really a lightweight, it's just that I can't drink a lot"
"Mum you'll never believe it, the house is cleaner than when you're here" (dropping himself in it because his mum didn't know about the party)
"Don't look, I'm getting changed. Not that you could see much anyway"
"I'm just coming in for some clean pants, I had a slight miscalculation"
"Both the weeks on my timetable were the same so I tore it in half, only now I can't find the half I want."
"Philip! Philip! What are you doing? Stop it! It'll make you go blind" (Grandma Maddison"
"Oh, oh, oh the beer's swilling in me stomach, it's because I drank too fast"
Top Ten Classic moments
Putting head in fume cupboard for a laugh, thanks Phil we all had a good laugh both times.
Making a Playstation box too small for a Playstation (you were preparing for the PS2 weren't you Phil)
Writing a text msg for the beer for his party, and sending it to his dad while it was in his pocket.
Thinking that a good place to store an open, very cold can is under your arm; dropping it in the corridor and then running off saying "Oh! Oh! Oh! Shit!...Shit!"
Dropping his trousers to his knees, to show his rear, out of the window of a battered old Transit van. Full Frontal photos available on request.
Sitting on the hob whilst it was on and burning the aforementioned rear.
Stage diving at My Vitriol when the crowd was dwindling in numbers.
Walking into the patio door whilst under the influence of alcohol. After shutting the door himself, only seconds before.
Writing a note on top of his college application form, which was carbonated. Therefore the note went all the way through.
With only one day to clear up the previously mentioned party, Phil proceeded to spend the majority of the day, microwaving eggs.
And a late addition to the list
"I've been 18 for 1 hour and 8 years" I think you mean 8 minutes Phil.
Fake ID's Classic moments "UPDATE"
Brewing and Distilling. Need I say more.
Not spell checking his UCAS form until it had been sent off.
Getting thrown out of Karisma for going behind the curtained off area.
Signing his Fake ID with his real name when the ID had the name Phillip Johnson on it.
Continuing the Fake ID theme, putting his height as 5'11" just in case of a groth spurt.
Having four driving instructors
Failing theory and practical driving tests several times. "anyone with half a brain cell can pass their theory test"
Being notoriously short sighted Phil offers to "be simy's eyes" when the windows had steamed up.
Thinking that he was really clever by stealing someone's key, only realise half an hour later that they were his own.
Talking about getting a tatoo on his stomach, however also saying he would have to have it squashed up, so WHEN he got a beer belly it wouldn't look stupid.
Quotes
"Gibbo someone's put watercress all over your dining room floor. I tasted it and it didn't taste right." On further inspection it emerged that 4 geraniums were missing from pots. Police continue their investigations. Click here for more details
"Gibbo I could drink your whole drinks cabinet dry" one shot of vodka later and Phil was reportedly shouting for his mate huuuueeeeyyy down the big white telephone.
