This is the part of the site where members of the kru can have their say. Basically each month one member of the Kru takes over this page, putting whatever they want on here. If you want to appear here e-mail me. Previous Rants (the legal bit) Just remember all views on this page are those of the contributer and don't neccesarilly reflect those of the Beanokru or its members. This month Steven Marshall writes Now I know I say I won't edit views on this page but on this occasion I felt I had to, as I didn't want complaints or to cause too much offence. To introduce this vociferate I shall commence by addressing the page (http://beanokru2.homestead.com/ Rant.html) That terrible bore out of the way, I will now advance to summon the audience. I believe that this page marks a new chapter in Beanokru history. It has a certain personal and cheesy aroma, an element that is that is a direct result of fame. The very fact that the Beanokru has a 'Rant page' means that we have given into the populaist movement. The fact is that the Beanokru has become so widespread that it has forced to come up with new ideas to keep it's visitors feeling refreshed. Thus giving into the temptation of a Rant page, that is found on so many 'commercial' websites. Other ispirational ideas include a dynamic message boardand a completly interactive debate, you can also vote on who is the gimp of the month. Have the Beanokru sold up, has the spark withered away diminished into the hall of shame, have we entered a new era or even a post-Beanokru era? The answer is simple.......No way, we aint budging that easy, yes we will keep reminding you that this site is here and yes you will enjoy it no matter what new pages we put on, becasue we are the Beanokru and we will not rest until you laugh. (Beano's note: If anyone does want to pay us shedloads of money to produce this garbage I am always willing to talk). The expansion of this site may be a marketing ploy, but it still makes room for more twisted shinanegans from Da boys ya love best! Laugh out loud you mad-for-it monkey loving, fish monging Bean Heads! It has been a unique year in Beanokru history, it began with a website during an age when sad Gimps and corporate companies ruled the web. The website has expanded and become the forefront of Beanokru activities and has shown punters that it doesn't have to spell the word F.O.O.T.B.A.L.L (what about porn) to be a quality site. With the the websites help Beanokru members and activities have become clearer even if the linguistic nature of the reports hasn't and therefore a unique feeling togetherness has emerged along with a healthy growth in numbers. However on the other hand harsh promotions and in particular relegations in late June have sparked exile revolt in old skool Beanokru members. They must learn that we have to make sacrifices in order to advance and we do these sacrifices in order to advance and to benefit society. (soz Rog the Bob, Brown, Ste, Dodworth and the bum massive). We have unwillingly sacrificed the Ali G theme in order to gain a good boy image and we put on free parties via our corporate Club franchise, Fructidor! You could say that the Beanokru has become such a law abiding, do-gooding, devine Pressure group that it could quite get on local TV news. Local news hey! I hate it, Well and truly hate it! Take Look North on a typical Thursday night....the pre-news advert; "Is this the most famous hamster in the world!" Who gives a fuck, just looking at the shit-coloured piece of vermin makes me want to vomit. However I continue to watch as the Steroids (medical reasons) which have colonised my brain are really pissed off with homework and I could do with a laugh. The first few articles are of some importance and could be classed as news, however after this we get into the dross. Some soppy story about a girl who has recovered from illness and then some supposedly funny stories and the weather. Then eventually the story I had been waiting for. The Doncaster Local Mayor Referendum, something that will be occuring in every single Yorkshire town and city, this was a quick warning that it was Donny folks last chance to vote! It didn't explain to the half-wit population what they would be voting for and the possible outcome of each option. This was followed by Harry Gratiam attempting to be humerous while interviewing a Non-Government Organisation similar to that of the Beanokru. Don't worry about the elections though; nobody voted and those that did, voted for Doncaster to become only the third town nationwide to have an elected mayor. Most didn't vote because they claimed they didn't understand it or that it wouldn't make a difference "they're all crooks anyway. It is this non-voting inarticulate population that have made local news crap and allowed local councillors to be crooks. Due to their lack of respect for society and selfish attitude to life. Because of their didtinct lack of intelligence they would rather hear news about little Toms broken toe nail, rather than intriguing politics, and because Look North have to play to their audience they are forced to show news about mind-numbing 'soup-like' tales rather than real news. As a result of this local politicians will remain unknown and unaccountable until they have commited a crime and end up on Look North News. It is a vicious circle, that could be abolished if people had the decency to watch proper local news. It isn't local news, it's local gossip due to the 'thick as pig shit' populationv that watch it. Look North. Fuck the North! Speaking of northern population, I have noticed a large increase in the number of C-Bass, a universal problem that has scared many northern towns, this is a culture we could do without. Now don't get me wrong, I haven't got anything against everybody who wears shit coloured boots bearing the Rockport logo and a baseball cap on the crown of their heads, kindly pointing out the direction of the moon. But the ones that cause trouble should definitely be eradicated. Moral C-Bass are further becoming an endangered species as more and more extreme C-Bass take to the streets, proudly yielding the latest stripey knitwear range. Extreme C-Bass live off terroring the dependent population ( juveniles and O.A.P's) for bus fayre and hitting people for street-cred. It's these idiots that smash up phone boxes on a cheap night out and push out the boat when they go to the Visage for half a shandy and a knuckle sandwich. Is is this thugish behaviour really acceptable, I ask you? Is it really fair that the maximum young-offenders sentence for assault is six months, when they are quite obviously denying another human of rights, when a 'recreational' drug user can get a seven year penalty for doing no harm to anbody but themselves. The numbers of C-Bass on the streets is rapidly increasing, more are patrolling the neighbourhood daily in the quest for bus fayre to Thurnscoe or petrol money to Barnsley. This problem subjugated futhermore by C-Bass not growing up. Veteran C-Bass are the new Moral C-Bass and more and more of these solitary hobgoblins walk the dusty streets of Donny, at the age of 32 with "Man U!" shirts that bear the heinous name logo of Beckham. Grow up boys you no longer get cool points for possesing the latest £50 strip. Try buying something useful, like a Doncaster Rovers shirt. D.R.F.C. need your support more than the corporate company that is Manchester United and you can actually watch a Rovers game live, rather than sat in front of the box on ya fat asses......if everybody thought like me Rovers would have both the financial and vocal support to return to Division 3, back where they belong. Looking upon this rant in 21st century hindsight it might seem as though I've done a Chambers on you all after some very controversial statements about the Northern population. However I must admit its better than being a selfish, arrogant, toffy nosed southerner, even if I do appreciate Shandy as opposed to beer. Let's look on the bright side the North still has Hull F.C,, Virtual Illusion, Scarborough, Insomniacz, Fructidor and the Beanokru still looks like it has a prosperous future, having achieved over 1000 hits on the website, a future album and the Urban Dwellers football team. Oh yes the future of the Beanokru looks good! Rememebr this: The future is bright, the future is Ginger! Moses the messiah would like to thank the following: Beano himself for giving me the opportunity to write this page, Look North news for being so wank, steroids for putting me in a bad mood, Pizza Hut's all you can eat, Virtual Illusion, All three Skemmingways for just caning it, Paul Maddox, A Boy named Bones, The Pennines for seperating us from Lancashire, the Del Boy massive, Chuppa Chups, Geddes and Grosser Thesorous for the ultra linguistic jargon, Dr Pepper....it tastes so good! Rog the Bob Roberts' nose, Godskitchen @ Amnesia, Anita's cousin, 24 hour Spar, Fake ID, Tulla 2XLC, Gemma, Mc D's, Lisa W, Cheesy Gringos, Dumb + Dumber, Waldorf salad, Bryan Adams, the makers of BiG Pete, Tommy Cooper, the hands of DJ Slam, Mitsubishi, the late Prophet Bill Hicks, M62 cooridor, Fish 'n' Chips , Pikachu/Bob the Builder + co, Herbertism in the 21st century, Caprice, Stoke/Crewe and Preston of randomly wank universites, Random, emergency links and mostly to all the Beanokru members without them would never have been possible!!!! |
This is the part of the site where members of the kru can have their say. Basically each month one member of the Kru takes over this page, putting whatever they want on here. If you want to appear here e-mail me. Previous Rants (the legal bit) Just remember all views on this page are those of the contributer and don't neccesarilly reflect those of the Beanokru or its members. This month Steven Marshall writes Now I know I say I won't edit views on this page but on this occasion I felt I had to, as I didn't want complaints or to cause too much offence. To introduce this vociferate I shall commence by addressing the page (http://beanokru2.homestead.com/ Rant.html) That terrible bore out of the way, I will now advance to summon the audience. I believe that this page marks a new chapter in Beanokru history. It has a certain personal and cheesy aroma, an element that is that is a direct result of fame. The very fact that the Beanokru has a 'Rant page' means that we have given into the populaist movement. The fact is that the Beanokru has become so widespread that it has forced to come up with new ideas to keep it's visitors feeling refreshed. Thus giving into the temptation of a Rant page, that is found on so many 'commercial' websites. Other ispirational ideas include a dynamic message boardand a completly interactive debate, you can also vote on who is the gimp of the month. Have the Beanokru sold up, has the spark withered away diminished into the hall of shame, have we entered a new era or even a post-Beanokru era? The answer is simple.......No way, we aint budging that easy, yes we will keep reminding you that this site is here and yes you will enjoy it no matter what new pages we put on, becasue we are the Beanokru and we will not rest until you laugh. (Beano's note: If anyone does want to pay us shedloads of money to produce this garbage I am always willing to talk). The expansion of this site may be a marketing ploy, but it still makes room for more twisted shinanegans from Da boys ya love best! Laugh out loud you mad-for-it monkey loving, fish monging Bean Heads! It has been a unique year in Beanokru history, it began with a website during an age when sad Gimps and corporate companies ruled the web. The website has expanded and become the forefront of Beanokru activities and has shown punters that it doesn't have to spell the word F.O.O.T.B.A.L.L (what about porn) to be a quality site. With the the websites help Beanokru members and activities have become clearer even if the linguistic nature of the reports hasn't and therefore a unique feeling togetherness has emerged along with a healthy growth in numbers. However on the other hand harsh promotions and in particular relegations in late June have sparked exile revolt in old skool Beanokru members. They must learn that we have to make sacrifices in order to advance and we do these sacrifices in order to advance and to benefit society. (soz Rog the Bob, Brown, Ste, Dodworth and the bum massive). We have unwillingly sacrificed the Ali G theme in order to gain a good boy image and we put on free parties via our corporate Club franchise, Fructidor! You could say that the Beanokru has become such a law abiding, do-gooding, devine Pressure group that it could quite get on local TV news. Local news hey! I hate it, Well and truly hate it! Take Look North on a typical Thursday night....the pre-news advert; "Is this the most famous hamster in the world!" Who gives a fuck, just looking at the shit-coloured piece of vermin makes me want to vomit. However I continue to watch as the Steroids (medical reasons) which have colonised my brain are really pissed off with homework and I could do with a laugh. The first few articles are of some importance and could be classed as news, however after this we get into the dross. Some soppy story about a girl who has recovered from illness and then some supposedly funny stories and the weather. Then eventually the story I had been waiting for. The Doncaster Local Mayor Referendum, something that will be occuring in every single Yorkshire town and city, this was a quick warning that it was Donny folks last chance to vote! It didn't explain to the half-wit population what they would be voting for and the possible outcome of each option. This was followed by Harry Gratiam attempting to be humerous while interviewing a Non-Government Organisation similar to that of the Beanokru. Don't worry about the elections though; nobody voted and those that did, voted for Doncaster to become only the third town nationwide to have an elected mayor. Most didn't vote because they claimed they didn't understand it or that it wouldn't make a difference "they're all crooks anyway. It is this non-voting inarticulate population that have made local news crap and allowed local councillors to be crooks. Due to their lack of respect for society and selfish attitude to life. Because of their didtinct lack of intelligence they would rather hear news about little Toms broken toe nail, rather than intriguing politics, and because Look North have to play to their audience they are forced to show news about mind-numbing 'soup-like' tales rather than real news. As a result of this local politicians will remain unknown and unaccountable until they have commited a crime and end up on Look North News. It is a vicious circle, that could be abolished if people had the decency to watch proper local news. It isn't local news, it's local gossip due to the 'thick as pig shit' populationv that watch it. Look North. Fuck the North! Speaking of northern population, I have noticed a large increase in the number of C-Bass, a universal problem that has scared many northern towns, this is a culture we could do without. Now don't get me wrong, I haven't got anything against everybody who wears shit coloured boots bearing the Rockport logo and a baseball cap on the crown of their heads, kindly pointing out the direction of the moon. But the ones that cause trouble should definitely be eradicated. Moral C-Bass are further becoming an endangered species as more and more extreme C-Bass take to the streets, proudly yielding the latest stripey knitwear range. Extreme C-Bass live off terroring the dependent population ( juveniles and O.A.P's) for bus fayre and hitting people for street-cred. It's these idiots that smash up phone boxes on a cheap night out and push out the boat when they go to the Visage for half a shandy and a knuckle sandwich. Is is this thugish behaviour really acceptable, I ask you? Is it really fair that the maximum young-offenders sentence for assault is six months, when they are quite obviously denying another human of rights, when a 'recreational' drug user can get a seven year penalty for doing no harm to anbody but themselves. The numbers of C-Bass on the streets is rapidly increasing, more are patrolling the neighbourhood daily in the quest for bus fayre to Thurnscoe or petrol money to Barnsley. This problem subjugated futhermore by C-Bass not growing up. Veteran C-Bass are the new Moral C-Bass and more and more of these solitary hobgoblins walk the dusty streets of Donny, at the age of 32 with "Man U!" shirts that bear the heinous name logo of Beckham. Grow up boys you no longer get cool points for possesing the latest £50 strip. Try buying something useful, like a Doncaster Rovers shirt. D.R.F.C. need your support more than the corporate company that is Manchester United and you can actually watch a Rovers game live, rather than sat in front of the box on ya fat asses......if everybody thought like me Rovers would have both the financial and vocal support to return to Division 3, back where they belong. Looking upon this rant in 21st century hindsight it might seem as though I've done a Chambers on you all after some very controversial statements about the Northern population. However I must admit its better than being a selfish, arrogant, toffy nosed southerner, even if I do appreciate Shandy as opposed to beer. Let's look on the bright side the North still has Hull F.C,, Virtual Illusion, Scarborough, Insomniacz, Fructidor and the Beanokru still looks like it has a prosperous future, having achieved over 1000 hits on the website, a future album and the Urban Dwellers football team. Oh yes the future of the Beanokru looks good! Rememebr this: The future is bright, the future is Ginger! Moses the messiah would like to thank the following: Beano himself for giving me the opportunity to write this page, Look North news for being so wank, steroids for putting me in a bad mood, Pizza Hut's all you can eat, Virtual Illusion, All three Skemmingways for just caning it, Paul Maddox, A Boy named Bones, The Pennines for seperating us from Lancashire, the Del Boy massive, Chuppa Chups, Geddes and Grosser Thesorous for the ultra linguistic jargon, Dr Pepper....it tastes so good! Rog the Bob Roberts' nose, Godskitchen @ Amnesia, Anita's cousin, 24 hour Spar, Fake ID, Tulla 2XLC, Gemma, Mc D's, Lisa W, Cheesy Gringos, Dumb + Dumber, Waldorf salad, Bryan Adams, the makers of BiG Pete, Tommy Cooper, the hands of DJ Slam, Mitsubishi, the late Prophet Bill Hicks, M62 cooridor, Fish 'n' Chips , Pikachu/Bob the Builder + co, Herbertism in the 21st century, Caprice, Stoke/Crewe and Preston of randomly wank universites, Random, emergency links and mostly to all the Beanokru members without them would never have been possible!!!! |
October 2001 |
